Let’s end the year well!
I have to say that this time of year is one of my favorite seasons. Growing up in Denmark, the days grew short very quickly, leaving us with a pitch black to dusk time, instead of the bright light to dusk that we have over the summer. A lot of people struggle with the darkness of the winter months.
For me, however, it was always a period of excitement, expectation, and coziness (or hygge, a Danish word recently adopted!) Even writing about it makes my heart happy and puts a smile on my face. I have to say, I was fortunate to have a family (still do) that got along, without any mean-spirited or relational difficulties. Don’t get me wrong – we definitely have different personalities, political views, perspectives on health, etc., but we still manage to be civil and have a good discourse on many subjects. I think one of the key ways that we can manage the darkness and the sometimes difficult people is… are you ready? … CANDLES. Yes, candles! Were you expecting some profound psychological tip? Sorry to disappoint!
Here is the thing… everything is softened in candlelight. It is really hard to be angry when you are sitting by the glow of candles. They bring a nice, soft light. They bring warmth. Here is an important tip, though… do NOT buy scented candles! (Slight downer here, but they are filled with hormone disruptive chemicals.) Instead, invest in good candles, like beeswax candles.
Alright… now here comes the FIRST call to action. After you have gotten out your candles, sit down with a pen and paper and write out 100 Tolerations. I know that’s not a real word, but I just learned it from one of my mentors, Dr. Ronda Nelson. Tolerations are those things that you just put up with- things you know you ought to take care of- like sewing the button that you feel in your pocket every time you put on your coat, or recycling that pile of magazines that you know you really won’t read.
The first 20 or 30 will be easy, but then it starts getting into the nitty-gritty of your mind. It can be a laziness you put up with within yourself – like consistently not getting up in time to do quiet time, eat breakfast, or exercise. You made the agreement with yourself to do it, but somehow you keep breaking it, taking a little chunk of your confidence and energy with you. Maybe it is a friend or family member that has a habit that hurts your soul, but you just smile and put up with it. Those are the hard tolerations.
All of those tolerations add up – at best, they’re wasted time… at worst, they’re stealing your energy. Take your time, write them down, and then start picking them off one at a time.
Why am I writing about this? You know how we talk about the GAS pedal and the BRAKE pedal? Guess what those tolerations do? They keep you on the GAS, making it harder for you to heal and regain the full VITALITY you deserve.
Here is your SECOND call to action… share your intentions with an accountability partner! We would love to help you with this, too. Bring your list in and let us know how you need our support. Or, put them out in the open by sharing on our Facebook page. Sometimes being very public about your tolerations can have a profound effect on getting them handled.
THIRD… share this with your friends! If they have had tolerations, sucking the vitality right out of them, keeping them on their GAS pedal, they need to know we can help. Their nerve system will thank you and so will we. WE have a vision of a community of fully VITAL people with really short lists of tolerations.
Let’s finish the year well!